"Memories" continued

Once, when my parents had to go to a dental conference in Arizona, they took us down to stay with some friends of theirs in Fresno, The Burrells. Brad was about 15 at the time. Looking back, I realized what he had been up to.  For a few months before this conference, Brad had become a different person; almost as though the old Brad was just a bad nightmare and had been replaced with this caring and considerate brother.  He had managed to talk my parents into letting him stay home for the weekend. When we got back, the house was completely destroyed and Brad was in jail.  He had had a party while my parents were gone; it was so out of hand that they were lighting things on fire in the microwave; they had a bonfire in the backyard with my mother’s clothes and terrified some of the neighbors. The police were called and Brad was arrested. Although this wasn’t the first time Brad had been arrested, it was his longest stay in jail – over a month.  That was only one of many incidents involving the police.

I had a few friends when I was growing up; not a lot, just a few very close friends.  My parent;s, after moving to Pleasanton, became friends with a family in our church.  They had a daughter who was about my age, Mary.  Mary was my closest and longest friend.  Fortunately, I still keep in touch with her.   My parents definitely tried to control the people with whom I associated with, fortunately, Mary's parents passed my parents criticism, since they were also LDS.  I had another friend, Nicole Warren; my parents wouldn't let me go to her house a lot of the time because her parents were divorced, or going through a divorce.  It's hard to remember, because there were times when her mom was around, but most of the time, she wasn't.   But Mary and I, we were like sisters.  Mary was a bit older than me, about 7 months.  We used to spend almost all our time together, either at her house, or at my house.  During the summer, we would spend our days at the Pleasanton Aquatic Center.  There were so many times when she would spend the night and I would be so afraid that Brad was going to hurt her.  I used to lay in bed and just pray that he would leave us alone.  Just let me have this one friend.  Just please don't hurt her!  Mary was no stranger to abuse though. I won't go into too much, because it's not my story to tell, I'll just say that she had a lot on her own plate.  It was interesting how our lives were so parallel and yet in different ways.  She doesn't know it, but she was my safety net.  We loved getting into mischief together!  One of the memories Mary loves to recall is how we would lock ourselves in my parents room and make prank calls!  We love to laugh about it to this day!  I think if her parents knew what went on in our house, they would never forgive my parents for risking exposure of Mary to those horrors!  


When Mary and I were in middle school - she came to school one day visibly upset.  When I inquired of her what was going on, she informed us solemnly that her parents were splitting up and they were moving to Stockton.  What!!!!  Stockton!!  No, this can't happen!  Not Mary!  I was devastated.  Obviously for her, but more so, for me!  How could my best friend be leaving me!  How could this happen.  I thought, maybe if I talked to her mom, I could convince them to stay.  I knew inside, that would never happen.  Whose going to listen to a 12 year old!  Mary had grandparents who lived in Stockton; Mary's grandparents were, how can I say this in a politically correct way.... Rich??  They had 4 homes that I know of.  Their primary residence in Stockton on Quail Lake (a gated community), one in Aptos..... On the beach!!!  We used to go here at least once every summer after going to Santa Cruz for a day.  One in Tahoe - Mary's family would go here every winter to go skiing.  They would always be gone for 2-4 days at a time...... worst 2-4 days I can remember. And one in Hawaii.  But this time, she wasn't going to visit, she was going to stay!  I couldn't stop crying. My best friend!  My safety net!  She can't leave!!  But she did.  For a little while anyway.  We talked on the phone all the time - she was so sad.  They ended up moving back right after Christmas.  I remember it was decided on Christmas day when Mary's mom brought the kids home for Christmas.  They would always open gifts at Mary's grandmothers house (on her dad's side) who happened to live right behind them.  I came over Christmas morning (as I did every year) and m's dad got me on video celebrating with Mary over moving back home.   They still make Mary fun of me over that!  :).  One time, we all went out to her grandparents house for Mary's birthday.  Mary's birthday was in December, but because it was right around Christmas time, her mom would always throw her a party in either Spring or Summer - this time, I believe it was early  summer and Mary's mom rounded up all of us (Mary's friends) and drove us to Stockton where we had a party for Mary.  I could not believe how beautiful this house was!  The most prominent memory I have of this house was the master bathroom.  A shower, literally as big as my entire walk in closet!  It was huge!  That was the first time I could remember staying up all night - which we did!  And then the next day, we spent the entire afternoon on the back deck, which looked out over "Quail Lake".  One of the best memories I have.


Back to the nightmare of my own family.......

Once, when Brad was learning to drive, my mother let him drive the van down Sycamore Road; a country road near our house that was about a mile long and straight as an arrow.  To this day, with Brad’s history, I wonder why my parents kept giving him opportunities to hurt the rest of us??  I know that he was their son, but they had to see that something was wrong with him, didn’t they?  He did fine for most of the ride, but as we got closer to the end, he pulled off onto the shoulder without slowing down or stopping. My mother started screaming at him to stop, but he kept his foot on the gas pedal. Keep in mind, this was before the days of "mandatory seat belts", Brad ran the van right into a telephone pole and all but totaled the van. We all went flying toward the front of the van; fortunately, there were only two of us on the middle bench. Most of us were in the very back of the van and only ran into the back of the front benches. We were all in the van at the time..... Every one of us, including Ian, who was the baby at the time and thank god, was in some sort of an infant car seat.  It seemed like he was trying to kill all of us.

Another incident, which happened when Brad was a little bit older and closer to the time when he "went away", he was mad at my mother one night, for some reason or another. I'm sure in Brad's mind at the time it all seemed perfectly justifiable.  Anyway,  at this time, he was in his mid-teens and was taller than my mother, who was a modest 5’2.  He became so angry with her, that he grabbed one of the kitchen knives and told her he was going to "slice her up".  When my mother realized that she could not simply “over power” him anymore, she became very frightened.  Brad started chasing her. My 'brother Mason, who was in boy scouts had a cross-bow, which he had made. He grabbed it and got between Brad and my mother. He told Brad that if he didn't leave the house, he was going to kill him, secretly, I was hoping he would. I remember seeing Mason's face; he was trying so hard not to show emotion, to keep it cold.  He stared Brad down, challenged him even, the cross bow shaking in his hands only slightly and sweat running down the side of his face.  His eye's darting between Brad's eyes and the knife in his hand.  What would he do?  Would Mason be forced to shoot him.... could he do it if he had to?  Fortunately, we never had to find out.   Brad left and my mother called my dad, not the police. He came home and nothing else happened. Sometimes I think - if only my parents hadn't been so embarrassed about what was happening, we could have gotten help so much sooner than we did.  So many things could have been avoided.  I could have remained innocent for just a little bit longer.